feeling blue

I have no idea why I'm feeling so blue, but I think, it is a kind of homesickness. I get that almost every year around this time. Can not get the Christmas feeling here, miss the German Christmas preparations, the Weihnachtsmarkt with burned almonds and gluehwein, (spiced hot red wine) , Bahlsen's Weihnachtsgebaeck, backing cookies and so on.
Still do not get it, why here in America the Christmas tree gets decorated and put on display right after Thanksgiving. The German tradition is to decorate the tree Christmas Eve (without the kids seeing it), put the presents under the tree and then pretend, that the Weihnachtsman (Santa .Clause) just left the building and the kids coming in, admiring the tree with the eyes already on the presents. After opening the presents, the family has a light dinner and then the fun begins: playing with all the toys and checking everything out.
The next day, everybody sleeps in, except in most families the Lady of the house, who is preparing a huge festive lunch or dinner, maybe a brunch,  for the whole family incl. grandparents or whatever the family structure may be, and sometimes friends too. The kids may receive more presents from visiting family members. This  is kind of we did it in Germany and  my grandmother Agnes always cooked the big Lunch/dinner on Dec. 25. We had roasted duck with lots of side dishes and a wonderful desert, but I can not remember the name. Looked like the Jello, they have here, but it was made from scratch with red wine and got served with a vanilla sauce - so delicious. The next day, Dec. 26., was my mom's birthday, so we would all go to her house and celebrate.
After my mom died and my grandmother lived in a retirement home/hospice, everything changed and the family tradition got lost.

Ohh, how do I miss that and how do I miss my mom Helga specially at this time of the year.  She would have been 86 years old this year. I lost her way to early at the young age of 57 and can not believe, it was almost 30  years ago and I'm older now then her back then at the time of her passing.

My Mom  at the time of her engagement to my Dad, I guess about 1945, give or take a year


I love you and will never forget you, Mama
Dec. 25., 1924  -  July 14., 1981